2015 was a major turning point for me. Breaking down to the very bottom and starting from scratch to rebuild the health and life I want. LA has been such a blessing for me and opened my eyes to a bigger world, full of creativity, energy, passion, ideas, hard work, happiness and fulfillment – all possible in ways I was previously unaware. I finally had my “dream job” and was living in California – a place I always thought would be amazing, but felt was out of my reach. No longer. I made it.
The move brought so much goodness into my life, but also plenty of challenges. I rapidly took on a full work load, with minimal training or experience. I learned a lot as I went, but never quite meeting my own high expectations. I was traveling across the country several times each month, which made it difficult to establish a healthy routine (food, exercise) and support system (friends), contributing to worsened stomach and fatigue issues. I lived by myself, worked remotely and traveled solo, all in a completely new city, so that definitely left me feeling lonely at times. I was able to ride the excitement and adrenaline for a while, until little by little my body, mind and soul began to break down.
When I was feeling most helpless, I was introduced to Caroline Burckle, a peak performance coach, Olympic swimmer and owner of Stilwellness. This woman is nothing short of amazing and single-handedly changed my life. She challenged me with hard questions to help understand and overcome negative thought patterns and take back my own power in my life. Caroline is so real, genuinely caring, inspirational and insightful – I can still hardly believe how much personal growth I have in each hour phone call. It took me a couple months, but I finally got out of my own way, stopped being afraid and overthinking everything, and finally started committing and taking action. Leading to where I am today – so much more aware, confident, healthy and at peace.
I came across a few questions to reflect on the past year, so thought I’d open up and share 🙂
- Highlights: Moved from my studio in Santa Monica to a house in Venice (with amazing roommates), traded in my car for an older (and less expensive!) one, started Delta’s new music loyalty program, made new and wonderful friends, built many work relationships, sat front row at the Taylor Swift concert (:)), completed a life-changing 21-day cleanse, took a medical leave from work to address my health issues, traveled to Nicaragua for the first time
- Disappointments: Average mid-year review (a deviation from my typical performance, which for me signified a bigger issue), lack of self-love and acceptance (but that is changing 🙂 )
- Thankful: My support system (Caroline, Jasmin (Moving Nutrition), roommates, friends, family, colleagues and more), life in LA, re-found health
- Surprised: All the support I received, especially from ~ my family for my actions to heal, my manager for my work leave, and all of you for my blog and health journey!
- Previously successful behavior that may no longer be serving me: Caring so much (particularly about external matters and things I cannot change), saying yes all the time, intense exercise, analysis (paralysis!)
- Disproportionate Joy (output far exceeds input): Writing my blog, traveling, opening up to others
Looking ahead to 2016, I want to focus on the not always popular concept that less is more. So often I feel the pressure (usually self-imposed) to do everything and do it all well…more exercise, more work, more hobbies, more socializing, etc etc, ignoring the consideration of how well it serves me. This has set me up for unrealistic expectations, spreading myself thin, negative returns, stress and more. My change will be quality over quantity, prioritizing, and tuning into what truly makes my heart happy ❤️.
I plan to make 2016 a year of:
Self – love, acceptance, forgiveness, confidence
New experiences – risks, trials, failures, successes, growth, pushing boundaries
Fear less ~ commit and act more
Think less ~ feel, trust and love more
Lastly, while I have several specific personal and professional goals for the coming year that I can go into later, above all, my #1 priority will be my health (finally!) – mind, body and spirit – for all three are important and interconnected. I’m looking forward to continued progress in 2016 and have a feeling it will be a big year! Wishing you all so much love, health, success and joy in 2016 as well 🙂